Jenna,
I think this draft offers some descriptive details that intrigue, like "a relic of cracked heat and earth dug kilns" but there are several opportunities for much more detail, such as the name of the novel and what kind of cosmetics. I think "wing-cast dominance" is awesome but wonder if "forward footed stride" might not be redundant. There seems to be a story to tell about the statue but it's missing in this draft. I suggest you write about how you felt when your aunt gave it to you and why she gifted you with something "cheap" and incorporate some of the good adjectives from this first exercise.
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