Whatever You Want
by Angel Gonzalez
When you have money, buy me a ring,
when you have nothing, give me a corner of your mouth,
when you don’t know what to do, come with me
--but later don’t say you didn’t know what you were doing.
In the morning you gather bundles of firewood
and they turn into flowers in your arms.
I hold you up grasping the petals,
if you leave I’ll take away your perfume.
But I’ve already told you:
if you decide to leave, here’s the door:
its name is Angel and leads to tears.
When You Go
by Pauline Rodwell
When I am at work, write to me online,
when I lose my job, cuddle next to me on the couch,
when I fail to impress you with dinner, tell me then
--don’t wait until you have condemned yourself with a lie.
During the night, you clutter my sleep with gurgles
that gush into growls in my ear.
I nudge you each hour to tell you:
I may leave if you don’t seek some help.
But you’ve already decided:
it’s better to leave than be left.
Your name is forgotten and leaves no shadow.
I am really excited that you decided to use this poem as an improv. It has to be one of the poems in our anthology that I enjoyed the most.
ReplyDeleteYou've taken a really interesting and modern route with this that I believe works really well. I enjoyed the last two lines of the first stanza, perhaps the most, because who couldn't relate to that in some way or another. I also enjoyed the first six lines of the second stanza equally as well for much of the same reason. I was a bit thrown off by the last line, it seems abrupt. It may be that if it the language was soften a bit it may work. Of course just as any of the improvs we have worked on over the semester it might help to take it out of the improv and expand your own ideas of what might benefit this draft the most.