Why the Green Light is on the Bottom
*1 Because the higher positions were already taken.
*2 Because it makes other folks see red.
3 Because it wants distance from red.
4 Because it’s closer to the road.
*5 Because it’s a go-go dancer.
*6 Because red is on an ego trip.
*7 Because yellow likes the middle.
8 Because it can’t stay turned on long enough.
*9 Because it has no control over its place in the grand scheme of things.
*10. Because it hangs cool.
*11. Because it likes to swing harder.
12. Because it likes colorful hats.
*13. Because it failed to make the primary color palette.
*14. Because it likes to make cars screech when it goes out.
15. Because it’s more prone to vertigo than the other colors.
*16. Because it needs to be wanted.
17. Because it likes to keep people waiting.
18. Because it likes to play hide and seek.
*19. Because it throws caution to the wind.
*20. Because it likes being the underdog.
21. Because it’s a downer.
*22. Because it’s too set in its ways to change.
23. Because it feels under the weather.
*24. Because it makes the earth a greener place.
25. Because it befuddles the colorblind.
*26. Because the DOT ordained it.
*27. Because it hangs out in gangs of three.
28. Because it likes to get things rolling.
*29. Because it thinks it’s stacked.
*30. Because it likes kitschy eye shadow.
Recursive approach:
Because red is an ego trip.
Because yellow prefers the middle.
Because green hangs cool in the breeze,
I stay blue most of the time.
Because blue is not cool and red is too migraine
to the mind, I’ll try to sit cautiously in the middle
of my palette, while all the secondary
hues spin around me. I will try to glimmer like a golden
ball of butterscotch until my center dissolves
into a miniscule core of tartness and my flavor
fritters away onto the wide, blank palette
of the day. One lazy summer evening, while waiting
for the babysitter to come, my brother pushed me too
hard on the swingset, and I swallowed a lollipop.
It hurt so bad I couldn’t speak, but no one seemed
to notice. I realized then that bad things can happen
and no one will care. Unless you holler.
Hollering sounds like red. Crying does, too.
Silent tears are yellow.
I stay blue most of the time.
A whimsical approach:
Because Brad was too green to qualify for the higher positions
at the office and because he did not enjoy being the underdog,
he threw caution to the wind and took a job as a go-go dancer in
a gang-infested neighborhood. Consequently, he discovered
his deep need to be wanted by men; but, being too set in his
ways to change everything about his life, he decided to swing
harder and have it both ways. During the day, he wore his ‘man
hat,’ but whenever he went out on the street at night, cars screeched
to a halt as passers-by stared in amazement at his stacked bosom
and kitschy eyeshadow, as he crossed the intersection in a red bustier
and yellow mini-skirt. Because cross-dressing made the mayor see
red, Brad thought he could avoid persecution by serving on the City
Planning Commission, which enjoyed its own ego trip of having
control over the grand scheme of things. However, he was not aware
that the mayor and the head of the DOT were old friends, and one
night, Brad stepped into a manhole and was never seen again.
They say the sewer plant has had some stoppage problems recently. . .
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