Bryan,
"Braids of brick" may refer to buildings but I see no real point of reference to know for certain. "Warbled inward" sounds birdlike, bringing nature into the register, as does "humming." I'm not sure "fractilated" satisfies as much as 'fractious' but I love the reference to the speaker as a "bit of singularity." The film metaphor for the "shadows" of his life works really well. The repetitions of "I" reinforce the subjective focus of the speaker yet contrast his ambiguity of who he really is.
Nice draft!
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