Christine,
I enjoy the kookiness of this draft and, like Kris, love the last line. I think "You bird me" and "I bird for you" sound too strange but could be reworked into something that keeps the bird theme going. Along that same line, I think "Like a bird, you smack against the window of my world, etc." might be a way into a less kooky, more serious draft. Still, this one is fun.
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