In your first three lines, there is an intimation of resentment by the speaker, as reflected in the "intrusion" of the "blades of grass." I would like to know if it's toward the father or his bride-to-be. Also, the second stanza seems to represent the speaker's sadness. Word pairings like "dried dragon" and "sun folding" provide nice metaphors for a dying relationship; therefore, I expected the third stanza to address a metamorphosis of some kind, especially after the reference to Easter in the first stanza; but instead, it seems to recall the speaker's disappointment and rebellious pride. I would like to see the third stanza stretch further in order to transport the speaker (and the reader) to a new place.
I really like "glass tears" and "When I was five, I was fearless." You have some great language in this draft and "show" a lot of detail. Nice work, Brandy.
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